Elana Cutler: The first thing to do is see if the website of the retailer or designer of your choice has a “send a hint” feature, that way you can be really explicit about exactly what you want. Also, make sure you compliment others who are wearing the pieces you covet, either when you see the pieces out in real life, or if you’re scrolling through social or watching a movie or tv together. You could say, “Look! I love that XYZ piece, I’ve always wanted something like that!” Another option is to be very direct, as in tagging him on Instagram posts, forwarding marketing emails or just having an old fashioned conversation; it’s possible to be both direct and kind! And if all else fails, tell your best friend what you really want and then leave it in his or her hands!

EC: Absolutely! Getting pieces featuring the initials of your children (instead of their full name) is a very chic way of paying tribute, and you could also get a piece that includes the birthstone(s) of your kid(s). Another option is to get a piece engraved, even on the interior of a ring as an example, with either their name(s) or birthday(s). There are so many cool, personalized pieces out there!

EC: I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother, but what an incredible way to keep her with you! The first thing to do is identify a designer whose aesthetic you love and consult with them on either using the stone in a piece that already exists or working together to create a custom piece using your grandmother’s stone. Most designers offer custom work on their websites, calling it “upcycling” or “reimagining” or “redesign” and they’ll include detailed information about how the process works. Good luck, I can’t wait to see what you come up with!